and it tasted like insanity
you know that feeling where you feel like you're loosing your mind?
i have that feeling.
it started gradually, as all insanity does. your parents just won't let up. you're struggling just to keep up with life, even though life really isn't that hard. then you realize that some of you're friends don't like you as much anymore. for whatever reason, you have no clue, because they don't tell you, they don't like you. you feel hurt and betrayed, but decide that it's just a phase. here is when you work really hard at everything. school, friends, life.
then comes the inevitable day where it all comes down in a huge ball of flames. you find you have been replaced. you stop caring. you watch tv instead of doing your homework, not because you are pining, just because you don't give a fuck anymore. the worst is when you realize who has replaced you. maybe it was only one person, maybe it was two. in most cases, it turns out to be a boyfriend. in this case, it was a boyfriend and one of my own best friends. then you start inspecting all of your relationships. do they all really care? what about her who blew me off to spend time with another friend?
do i not matter? do you not see, i have given my everything. my heart, my soul, myself. i've been at my most vounerable around you, said the things that were hardest to say. does that mean nothing? i don't let people in easily, but you made it in. some how, some how. should i regret the day i met you? regret the day i decided to be your friend? regret all the times i spent talking to you, holding your hand, and helping you to move on? what am i supposed to do?
you don't know the real me. no one does. no one has ever gotten that close and i thank God that i didn't let you. i was going to, you know. i really was. but then you had to decide that a guy was worth more than me.
well know what? fuck you. i have better things to do with my life then wonder about why you're being an idiot.
i have that feeling.
it started gradually, as all insanity does. your parents just won't let up. you're struggling just to keep up with life, even though life really isn't that hard. then you realize that some of you're friends don't like you as much anymore. for whatever reason, you have no clue, because they don't tell you, they don't like you. you feel hurt and betrayed, but decide that it's just a phase. here is when you work really hard at everything. school, friends, life.
then comes the inevitable day where it all comes down in a huge ball of flames. you find you have been replaced. you stop caring. you watch tv instead of doing your homework, not because you are pining, just because you don't give a fuck anymore. the worst is when you realize who has replaced you. maybe it was only one person, maybe it was two. in most cases, it turns out to be a boyfriend. in this case, it was a boyfriend and one of my own best friends. then you start inspecting all of your relationships. do they all really care? what about her who blew me off to spend time with another friend?
do i not matter? do you not see, i have given my everything. my heart, my soul, myself. i've been at my most vounerable around you, said the things that were hardest to say. does that mean nothing? i don't let people in easily, but you made it in. some how, some how. should i regret the day i met you? regret the day i decided to be your friend? regret all the times i spent talking to you, holding your hand, and helping you to move on? what am i supposed to do?
you don't know the real me. no one does. no one has ever gotten that close and i thank God that i didn't let you. i was going to, you know. i really was. but then you had to decide that a guy was worth more than me.
well know what? fuck you. i have better things to do with my life then wonder about why you're being an idiot.
-gretti
miss any?
damn i'm scared - Friday, Jan. 19, 2007
surveyy - Friday, Dec. 29, 2006
ya! and boo.... - Wednesday, Dec. 27, 2006
gah! justin! - Monday, Dec. 18, 2006
i'm back! i hope.... - Thursday, Nov. 30, 2006
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