ladies and gentlemen, for all of you that ever need to do some soul searching, i have the show for you.
full house.
no, i am not joking. after watching the first five episodes of the fifth season, i realized something.
i'm scared as hell.
i'm scared to go to college. to leave my sister and my parents. to get a job and have to support myself. to handle money, what do i know about that? to live by myself, i've always shared a room with kirsten. i'm scared that i won't do well on the ACTs and SATs. scared i won't get a scholorship. scared i won't be able to afford the school i want. hell, i'm afraid i won't get accepted into the school i want. i'm scared i will never get a real boyfriend who will want to be with me for me, not just to say "i have a girlfriend." i'm scared i won't have true freinds in college. i'm afraid i won't stay in touch with the ones i have now. i'm afraid a certain situation will blow up in my face. i'm afraid i might lose my best friend. i'm afraid that i might be hindering God from working in my life, and not knowing it. i'm afraid to leave everything i've ever known. i'm afraid to tell the truth to my friends. what would they say if they knew that i wrote things like this, or that i love yu-gi-oh and think one of the main characters, kaiba, is as hot as hell? i'm afraid to tell them that i am NOT the self assured person that i portray myself to be. i'm afraid that i don't know it all. i'm afraid my advice might cost someone their future. i'm afraid of doing the wrong thing. i'm afraid of doing nothing. i'm afraid my life will become meaningless, sitting in a cubicle day after day to only serve my selfish desire to gain riches and power like every other american. i'm afraid i won't be able to stand up for what i believe in. i'm afraid i don't even know what i believe in. i'm afraid i'm choosing the wrong career path. what if i'm not supposed to do chinese? what if this is just my obsession with china talking, and not God? what do i do then? i'm afraid that i need help, and even more afraid to ask for it. i'm afraid to tell my parents this. i'm afraid of what they would think, of what they would do. i'm afraid that i am going to fail highschool.

i'm afraid of being afraid.

miss any?
damn i'm scared - Friday, Jan. 19, 2007
surveyy - Friday, Dec. 29, 2006
ya! and boo.... - Wednesday, Dec. 27, 2006
gah! justin! - Monday, Dec. 18, 2006
i'm back! i hope.... - Thursday, Nov. 30, 2006

<< | >>